I believe every person is entitled to the DIGNITY of self-determination. After all, this trait is what makes us uniquely human. But with dignity, comes responsibility; the responsibility to never settle for almost good enough or having any area in your life rate a 5/10. There is never a good reason to settle.
I came to understand my belief there’s never a good reason to settle in my early teen years and have honed and sharpened it throughout the course of my life. When I was fourteen years old, my father died suddenly of his second heart attack. In all honesty, he had settled without dignity for much of the time I can recall. Although he was an entrepreneur, he was unhappy and unfilled. He settled at work, meaning he worked way too many hours, for not enough reward, to the sacrifice of his family and his relationships. He settled with his health because, you see, when he died at 43 years old of a massive heart attack, it was his second one. He did not take care of himself after his first cardiac event at the age of 37. He settled for a small life, a life he thought he could achieve instead of a full life in the years he had. At the end of the day, his time on earth was short and, if I had to hazard a guess, unfulfilling life. We are not promised tomorrow; to me, that means there is never a good reason to settle. In any area of life. Period.
I found myself following in my father’s proverbial footsteps when I was tempted to settle for my first job out of law school. I had been working for a prosecutor’s office in Southern California during school and was offered a position. The commute was more than two hours each way and involved driving to the train station, taking the train, then taking a bus. Wash, rinse, repeat. Additionally, the work wasn’t exciting. But, I thought: “Hey, it’s a job and pays well.” Then I realized what I was doing and couldn't believe it! I was being tempted to settle because I wasn’t thinking of the second- and third-order consequences of the decision I was going to be making. Thankfully, I caught myself in time and didn’t settle. My life, the life of my family, and the life of my community in Boise are so much better then they ever would have been if I had taken that job.
Where are you settling for less than you want? Rate yourself in each of the following categories on a scale of 1-10 with 10 meaning that area is all you could ever hope for and 1 meaning you are so far away from great or outstanding that you can’t even think of how you’ll get there. Pay extra attention if you are pulled to rate yourself a 7…that’s a meaningless score and is, in fact, settling in and of itself.
Career/Profession
Personal Finance
Personal Development
Relationships (Intimate and Social)
Health/Aging
Fun & Enjoyment
Family/Parenting
Spiritual Awareness
The total possible score is 90 because of the two relationships categories. If your aggregate score is greater than or equal to 60, we should explore working together. Working with me as your coach, we’ll take a brutally honest look at these areas of your life and explore why you’re not quite reaching your goals. With an aggregate score of 60 or more, you’re feeling the pain of being close but…not…quite…there. We’ll also make sure you’re not settling, even when you reach what you perceive to be a 10/10 in any category because, frankly, you are thinking too small if you are a 10/10 and not growing as a person. Finally, we’ll have you construct a lawyer-worthy life of legacy, impact, freedom, and energy so that, when your race is run, the only regret you’ll have is you didn’t start working with me sooner.
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