In law school, we’re trained to be articulate. To master language. To communicate with precision. And for the most part, we succeed—at least in the courtroom or at the negotiation table.
But in the real world of law firm leadership? Articulation alone doesn’t cut it.
I’ve coached dozens of high-performing attorneys who hit the same wall: they believe they’re leading, but no one is following. They’re giving clear instructions, but the team misses the mark. They’re sharing information, but getting mediocre buy-in.
Here’s the hard truth: it’s not them. It’s you.
That’s not an insult. It’s an opportunity.
If you’re ready to lead with influence, not just intelligence—if you’re ready to generate commitment instead of mere compliance—then you need to shift from demanding to commanding.
Let’s break it down.
The Illusion of Communication
George Bernard Shaw nailed it: “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”
Ever walked out of a meeting feeling confident your team understood the goal, only to be baffled by what they delivered? That’s the illusion at work. It’s not that your team is ignoring you. It’s that they’re misaligned—and that misalignment is on you as the leader.
Articulation isn’t the same as influence.
Influence requires alignment—on purpose, on vision, and on values. Without alignment, your words create friction. Your team feels fatigue. Your firm develops flaws. That’s the cost of transactional communication.
Transactional Talk vs. Transformational Leadership
Transactional talk is about tasks. Who’s doing what by when. It’s checklist communication.
Transformational leadership, on the other hand, is purpose-driven. It connects the dots between the work and the why. It creates space for ownership. It elevates your people instead of directing them.
And here’s the payoff: transformational leaders free up their time. Instead of micromanaging every outcome, they build a culture of commitment. They lead people who lead the work.
Demand vs. Command
There are only two real communication paths in leadership: demand and command.
Demanding is top-down. It’s “because I said so.” It creates compliance, not commitment. And it’s powered by urgency and fear—both catabolic energy states that leave your team depleted.
Commanding is purpose-driven. It starts with why. It creates alignment. It invites ownership. It builds energy and clarity, not anxiety. Commanding leaders inspire their teams to go above and beyond—not because they have to, but because they want to.
Here’s the kicker: demanding gets the job done. But commanding creates a firm where people thrive.
Energy Always Wins
Your communication is only as powerful as the energy behind it.
In the Energy Leadership framework, we look at seven distinct energy levels. The first two—victimhood and conflict—are catabolic. They sap energy. When you lead from those levels, you demand.
Levels four and five—service and reconciliation—are anabolic. They amplify energy. When you lead from there, you command.
It’s not just what you say—it’s how you show up when you say it. Your attitude, perception, and belief system (what I call your APBs) shape how your message is received. That’s why coaching matters: we work together to raise your baseline energy so that your leadership becomes magnetic.
Where Leaders Slip
Even smart, successful law firm owners make these common mistakes:
1. Team meetings become checklists. They lose their value and fall off the calendar. Reclaim them as a space for alignment—not just information dumping.
2. Feedback becomes either conflict avoidance or criticism. Neither works. Effective feedback lives in the growth mindset: What went well? Where did we fall short? How can we improve?
3. Delegation lacks ownership. You assign the task but not the authority. That’s not delegation—that’s babysitting. To command, you must relinquish control of the process while remaining clear on the outcome.
Four Shifts to Move from Demand to Command
Here’s how to start leading with command today:
1. Pause and Self-Assess
Before you speak, check your energy. Are you operating from frustration or service? From control or collaboration? Your energy sets the tone.
2. Lead with Purpose, Not Pressure
Why are we doing this? What does success look like? If you don’t have a vivid vision, values, or a clearly articulated mission—get one. These are your alignment tools.
3. Audit Your Words
Are you inviting ownership, or are you assigning tasks? Are you empowering your team to think for themselves, or just telling them what to do?
4. Protect the Outcome, Not the Process
Let your team design the how while you define the what and when. If you must offer guidance, do it as support—“Here’s what’s worked in the past”—not as control.
You’re Here to Do $400,00 Per Minute Work
You’re not here to draft every brief or approve every strategy. You’re here to lead the people who do. And if you want those people to care as much as you do, it starts with how you communicate.
So ask yourself:
• Am I leading through command or demand?
• Am I creating clarity or confusion?
• Am I generating commitment or compliance?
The answers matter—because the success of your law firm depends on it.
When you’re ready to become a world-class communicator, let’s talk. I coach accomplished seekers—lawyers who don’t just want success, but purpose, clarity, and a team that moves with them, not behind them.
Let’s elevate.