I almost didn’t show up.

After a long international road trip, van trouble, and a disrupted routine, the temptation was real: skip the live presentation. Or mail it in. Just this once.

But I didn’t. I showed up—because I made a promise.

Not for the audience because, to be honest, depending on the platform, I sometimes don’t know if there are 1,000 people watching, or 0.

The promise I made was to myself. I would show up and talk about something impactful, something that could change one person’s way of thinking and, just maybe, their life. I would show up and play full out.

Since January 2023, I’ve shown up every month for a live presentation, whether people attend live or catch the replay. (As of today, that’s 29 live presentations.) This isn’t marketing. This isn’t lead generation. This is a commitment I made to myself: I will deliver one live presentation per month because it aligns with who I am, the work I do, and the promise I’ve made—to myself—for myself.

And that’s what this post is about: the promises lawyers keep, and the one type of promise we too often break.

Lawyers Are Excellent at Keeping Promises—to Everyone Else.

Let’s be clear: the lawyers I coach, those Accomplished Seekers, are some of the most disciplined professionals on the planet. They keep their promises. They wouldn’t be extraordinarily successful if they didn’t.

To clients? Absolutely. You don’t miss deadlines. You show up in court. You meet your obligations. You do what you say you’ll do with the goal of serving the client and creating an evangelist for your firm.

To partners? You don’t leave your colleagues hanging. They count on you and you count on them. Simple.

To your team? You set expectations and follow through. You do what you say you’ll do and expect them to do the same.

To judges and courts? You comply with the rules of the game—even when it’s chaos behind the scenes.

To family? You try. There are seasons when you’re more available than others—like the 44-day federal white collar trial I thrived in—but you do your best to follow through when you say “I’ll be there.”

But there’s one person lawyers consistently betray.

Themselves.

The Most Important Promises Are the Ones You Make—and Keep—for Yourself.

“I’m going to start eating better.”

“I’m going to get to the gym three days a week.”

“I’m going to stop checking email after 6 PM.”

“I’m going to block time to think strategically about my firm.”

You know these promises. You’ve made them. And chances are, you’ve broken a few. Maybe more than a few.

Here’s why it matters: every time you make and break a promise to yourself, you erode trust—not with others, but with you. You move further away from the person you believe yourself to be. Instead you move closer to what your internal voice continuously tells you you are, that someone who doesn’t deserve success and won’t do the work to create it.

And that internal breach creates a dissonance that leaks into your energy, your mindset, and your leadership.

It’s Not Time Management. It’s Energy Leadership.

Lawyers love to blame time: “I don’t have time to work out.” “I don’t have time to meditate.” “I don’t have time to think strategically.”

Time, my friends, is not the problem. Time is indifferent. It’s agnostic. It doesn’t give a sh*t about your goals, your schedule, or your aspirations.

Time doesn’t need managing. What needs mastering—what needs leading—is your energy.

When I talk about Energy Leadership®, I’m referring to the seven levels of attitudinal energy that shape how we experience the world, how we lead, and how we perform. They range from the lowest level—victimhood—to the highest—pure creation and choice.

Here’s how this applies to promise-keeping:

• Level 1: You skip your workout because “life is too hard right now.”

• Level 2: You resent even needing to think about it: “Why do I always have to push so hard?”

• Level 3: You rationalize: “It’s fine, I’ll get to it later.”

• Level 4: You think of your team, your clients, your family—everyone but you.

• Level 5: You begin to realize that keeping promises to yourself is a win-win. You benefit, and so does everyone around you.

• Level 6–7: You start showing up as the strategic CEO of your life and career, choosing how and when you bring energy to each domain.

The problem isn’t your calendar. The problem is how you’re relating to the commitments you make to yourself.

Self-Leadership Is the Key to Influence.

You can’t preach a culture of well-being, sustainability, or high performance if you don’t live it. Your words won’t matter—your actions will.

If you say, “We honor deep work,” but you never protect your own focus time…

If you say, “We take real vacations,” but you’re answering emails poolside in Maui or in the Sacred Valley of Peru…

If you say, “I’m working on being more intentional,” but you never slow down long enough to reflect…

Your people notice. As any parent will tell you: people hear what you say and they watch what you do. They believe what you do. If there’s a disconnect between what you say the culture is and you don’t “walk the talk,” your influence suffers.

The paradox is this: when you start keeping promises to yourself, you not only build internal integrity—you elevate your external influence.

The Benefits of Keeping the Promise (To You).

When you consistently keep promises to yourself, four things happen:

1. Your Confidence Grows.

You start to trust yourself more deeply. You stop relying on motivation and start building identity. “I’m the kind of person who keeps my promises”—even when no one’s watching.

2. Your Integrity Realigns.

The disconnect between how you see yourself and how you behave dissolves. You begin acting in alignment with your values and vision.

3. Your Influence Expands.

Your team, clients, and even your family start to follow your lead—not because of what you say, but because of how you live.

4. Your Freedom Increases.

When you show up for yourself, you create space—for thinking, for health, for creativity, for growth. You step off the hamster wheel and into your role as a true CEO.

So, What’s YOUR First Promise?

What’s the one promise you’ll make today—for yourself?

It doesn’t need to be grand. A salad. A 20-minute walk. A 15-minute strategic thinking block.

The promise isn’t about scale—it’s about significance. It’s about sending a signal to yourself that you matter. That your leadership begins with you.

A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step because until you take that step, the journey cannot start. It only continues if you keep stepping. And you only keep stepping if you keep the promises you make to yourself for yourself.

Final Thought.

Am I the type of person who keeps their promises?

Yes? Good.

Am I the type of person who keeps my promises to myself—for myself?

That’s the question.

Because when you start keeping those promises—when you lead yourself first, everything else follows.

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If this resonates with you and you’re ready to lead from a place of energy, integrity, and influence, let’s talk. Book a 30-minute Strategy Session and let’s explore what it would look like for you to stop chasing time—and start leading your life.